The Unusual News Thread

[Milky Tears]

Ian Levine made page 19 (or so) of today's Daily Star:



It's not that particularly interesting a story, but I did like Max Clifford's response at the end.

Clifford is a bigger **** than the other two combined!

[Stuart Wallis]

Are you sure about that?

[Si Hunt]

A businessman aiming to walk from England to India without spending any money, has revealed he was given two free dinners on his first evening away.

Mark Boyle is trekking from Bristol to Porbander, Gandhi's birthplace, armed with T-shirts, a bandage and sandals, to prove the kindness of humanity.

Let's hope he doesn't go via Harlow, or he'll be mugged before he starts.

Si.

[Pip Madeley]

Two oddities...

Boy treated after Red Bull binge



A teenager was taken to hospital in Darlington after drinking eight cans of energy drink Red Bull. The 15-year-old, a pupil at Hummersknott Comprehensive School, suffered heart palpitations, according to paramedics. He was treated at the Memorial Hospital following the 14 February incident, details of which have just emerged.

Each 250ml can of Red Bull contains 80mg of caffeine - the equivalent, says the company, to a weak cup of filter coffee. The spokesman added: "Red Bull energy drink is a functional product which has been developed specifically for periods of mental or physical exertion. We have always recommended drinking one to two cans of Red Bull to have the optimum effect on performance in times of need."

Red Bull has come under fire in the past for being linked with health problems. Norway, France, Uruguay and Iceland have all banned the energy drink because of concerns over high levels of caffeine.

Restaurant sorry over F-word bill



A restaurant owner has apologised after diners had their very own F word experience - without Gordon Ramsay. Ten friends found the abusive and sexually-explicit message on their bill at Joe Delucci's Italian restaurant in Bird Street, Lichfield, Staffordshire. Diner Clare Watkin said she thought it was written after they complained about poor service. The party from Walsall had gone to the restaurant on Friday. Owner Nigel Langsdon has begun an investigation.

Ms Watkin said: "I couldn't believe it. The bill read 'fish cakes', which one of us had for a starter, and it was written right above it - absolutely disgusting language. We actually booked the table for 8 o' clock in the evening, by the time they had taken our order it was quarter to nine and we didn't actually receive our food until quarter past 10. I'd like a written apology from the restaurant and I'd also like some compensation. I think that the way that we've been spoken to is absolutely outrageous."

Joe Delucci's owner Mr Langsdon said the message had been meant to be seen only by kitchen staff and he did not know how it ended up as an item on the receipt. He said: "That shouldn't come out on the bill, so we've got to find out what's gone wrong there. But we have apologised unreservedly to the girls concerned and said that they're very welcome to come back and have a free meal and we'd like them to."

He has also offered to donate the bill for their meal to charity. The cost of the meal came to £284.68, including a 10% service charge.

[Pip Madeley]

Punter wins £1m for 50p horse bet

A punter in North Yorkshire has become the first betting shop millionaire after he placed a 50p bet on eight horses with odds of two million to one. The man, who will receive a £1m payout, placed his winning bet at William Hill bookmakers in Thirsk, North Yorkshire.

The betting shop said the winner was a regular customer and had placed similar bets almost on a daily basis. The first horse that won on Friday was called Isn't That Lucky and the last winner was A Dream Come True.

The punter discovered he had won at 1200 GMT on Saturday when he went into another William Hill branch in Bedale, 15 miles (24km) away from the branch were he placed his 50p bet. Graham Sharpe from the bookmakers said: "He placed five more 50p bets for Saturday's racing, then asked staff to check his betting slip from the day before. When they told him he had £1m to come but would have to collect it from the Thirsk shop, he went visibly pale before saying that he would have to go and tell his wife."

The customer, who has not been identified but lives in the local area, landed an eight-horse accumulator, which is bookmaker William Hill's limit on the amount of races a punter can link bets on. Mr Sharpe added: "Even a script writer couldn't have dreamt this one up. It is a staggering bet, and earns him a place in history as the world's first betting shop millionaire."

[Jon Masters]

I bet he's wishing he'd gone to a whole £1 instead

[Pip Madeley]

Man, 101, to run London Marathon



A 101-year-old man has his sights on the London Marathon in a bid to become the world's oldest competitive runner. Working plumber Buster Martin ran Sunday's Roding Valley half marathon in Essex in five hours 13 minutes, and is now focusing on London's 26-mile event. On finishing the run, the first words of the ex-member of rock band The Zimmers were: "Where's my beer?"

Mr Martin, who has 17 children, started work at Pimlico Plumbers in London three years ago because he was bored. He drank a tankard of ale before signing autographs and chatting to fans near the finish line of the Essex race.

Charlie Mullins, managing director of Pimlico Plumbers, said he was "amazed" when Mr Martin appeared at work on Monday morning after his exertions. He said: "I was amazed and delighted, he turned up on time and set to work polishing the vans. He's a revelation."

Mr Martin's trainer is marathon enthusiast Harmander Singh, who helped Fauja Singh, 96, break the London marathon record for the over-90s.

Buster, who lives in London, made headlines last year when he signed up as an agony uncle for men's magazine FHM, offering guidance to a younger generation. He also found fame when The Zimmers, who had a combined age of more than 3,000 years, scored a hit single last year with a cover of The Who's My Generation.

A man 79 years my senior is attempting something that I couldn't even do for just ten minutes without taking a puff of my asthma inhaler. It's a bit depressing...

[Stuart Wallis]

I was reading about him in the local paper only this morning! Amazing character.

[Pip Madeley]

Here's a classic:

DJ forgets to hit 'live' button

A radio DJ spent an hour talking on his breakfast show without realising that listeners could not hear him. Andy Greener, a volunteer DJ at Radio Teesdale, forgot to press a crucial button to make his show live.



Instead of his show, listeners heard 60 minutes of music and jingles as an automated back-up system kicked in to prevent radio silence. He was alerted to his mistake when his station manager, listening at home, tried to call in.

Peter Dixon repeatedly tried to alert his DJ to his mistake. But the former police officer, known to listeners as Mr Andy, was too busy presenting his show to answer the phone. Eventually, Mr Dixon got through and Greener began broadcasting again.

"I've been involved with community radio for about four years and I've been doing this three days a week for 10 months and have never done it before," Greener told the BBC News website. He said he felt "a bit uncomfortable" with the media attention his mistake had attracted but that any publicity for the station was "absolutely brilliant".

"I'm starting to get to the stage of being a bit sick of it all, but I look forward to getting back on the air on Monday," he said. "After this, I don't think I'll be forgetting again," he added.

The independent station, which broadcasts to 25,000 people in rural County Durham from the market town of Barnard Castle, has a community licence to broadcast locally.

What a cock.

[Antony Cox]

What a cock.

Mmm - I'm not sure we can see enough of that in the photo to give an informed opinion...

[Stuart Wallis]

I thought it was the Jagaroth who wanted all the chickens...

[Matthew T]

Woman Spends Two Years On Toilet

An American woman's body had became attached to her boyfriend's toilet after she sat on it for two years, police in Kansas said.

"She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just physically stuck by her body," said Bryan Whipple, the sheriff of Ness County.

It appeared the 35-year-old woman's skin had grown around the toilet seat, he added. "It is hard to imagine. ... I still have a hard time imagining it myself."

The woman initially refused emergency medical care but her boyfriend, 36, and police officers finally convinced her to go to hospital.

"We pried the toilet seat off with a pry bar and the seat went with her to the hospital," Mr Whipple said. "The hospital removed it."

The county attorney still has to decide whether any charges should be brought against the boyfriend.

The man told investigators that he brought his girlfriend food and water, and asked her every day to come out of the bathroom.

"And her reply would be, 'Maybe tomorrow,"' Mr Whipple said. "According to him, she did not want to leave the bathroom."

The house in Ness City had a second bathroom that he could use.
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On the Feb 27, the boyfriend called police to report that "there was something wrong with his girlfriend", Mr Whipple said, adding that the man never explained why it took him two years to pick up the phone.

Officers found the woman sitting on the toilet - fully clothed, except for her tracksuit bottoms pulled down to her mid-thigh.

She was "somewhat disoriented" and her legs looked like they had atrophied, the sheriff said. "She said that she didn't need any help, that she was OK and did not want to leave."

She was taken to a hospital in Wichita, about 150 miles away, where she is in a fair condition.

However, the woman has since refused to speak to police. Authorities said they did not know if she was mentally or physically disabled.

Police have declined to name the couple, but the house is listed as the residence of Kory McFarren. His home phone went unanswered.

James Ellis, a neighbour, said the woman's mother died at a young age and she was apparently mostly kept inside the house where she grew up.

"It really doesn't surprise me," Mr Ellis said of the bathroom incident. "What surprises me is somebody wasn't called in a bit earlier."

[Si Hunt]

A Dorset postman was caught wearing stolen women's underwear after his bosses became suspicious that packages were going missing, a court heard.

Matthew Furness, 35, from Weymouth, admitted two charges of stealing postal packages belonging to Royal Mail, on 1 October and 6 December last year.

The court heard Furness failed to give an incorrectly addressed package containing a DVD to another sorting bay to deal with.

The court heard when Furness was asked to strip by police looking for the missing underwear, he was found to be wearing the thong.

[Pip Madeley]

Didn't want to start a new thread, but sad news:

Captain Birds Eye actor dies, 86



Actor John Hewer, who was best known for playing Captain Birds Eye in the popular fish finger adverts, has died aged 86. He played the role of the jovial naval captain, who was aimed at children, from 1967 until 1998. The star, who was a resident of actors' retirement home Brinsworth House in Middlesex, passed away on Sunday. He also appeared in the original Broadway production of Sandy Wilson's The Boy Friend.

The Captain Birds Eye character has outlasted the likes of the Milky Bar Kid and McDonalds' Ronald McDonald. In 1971 an obituary for the Birds Eye character appeared in the Times newspaper after it was decided to retire him. However, that was only temporary and he returned to TV screens three years later.

When he eventually did retire from the role, actor Thomas Pescod took over. In 1993 Captain Birds Eye was voted as the most recognised captain after Captain Cook in a poll.

God bless you Captain.

[Dirk Gently]

R.I.P Captain. You were always there telling me to eat fish fingers when I was growing up.

[Milky Tears]

This one really is a classic:

http://startelegram.typepad.com/sky_...files-law.html

March 14, 2008
Woman files lawsuit against AMR because passenger next to her masturbated while she slept

A 21-year-old Harris County woman filed a $200,000 lawsuit against American Airlines alleging employees on a flight to Los Angeles from Dallas/Fort Worth Airport failed to protect her while she slept from another passenger who masturbated to her and ejaculated in her hair, according to a lawsuit she filed last week in Tarrant County.

The Harris County woman alleges employees knew of the risks associated with failing to “police the passengers to ensure that passengers do not hurt one another,” the suit states.

Airline officials did not return calls seeking comment. In a statement to a Houston television station last year, a spokesman said the company regretted the incident, but the flight crew took appropriate action.

The woman and her lawyer could not be reached for comment. The Star-Telegram does not identify victims of sexual crimes.

Destined for a Spring Break visit with family and friends March 19, the woman flew from Houston to DFW Airport and had settled into her seat for the last leg of flight 2074 to Los Angeles about 11 p.m., the suit states. The woman slept most of the flight, but awoke about 20 minutes before landing when the pilot announced the plane was on descent into Los Angeles. When the woman opened her eyes, she saw that an unknown man had moved into the seat next to her and was staring at her as he masturbated, the suit states.

The woman turned toward the window in embarrassment and in an act of nervousness began to run her fingers through her hair where she noticed “a substantial amount of an extremely sticky substance in her hair,” the suit states.

The woman began to cry and tried to get the attention of a flight attendant, but was unsuccessful, the suit states. Finally a passenger in the row in front of the woman comforted her and verified the semen in her hair, the suit states.

When the plane landed, employee called airport police and the man was arrested.

The suit alleges that the during the investigation, American Airlines employees told police they witnessed the man move from his assigned seat into the row where the woman was sleeping.

The woman is seeking punitive damages and a jury trial.

-- Melissa Vargas

[Dirk Gently]

I hope the guy didn't think he'd make it in to the mile high club when he came down.

[Si Hunt]

ejaculated in her hair

How would that even work? Either he's got great trajectory or she chose a bad moment to retrieve her newpaper from the floor.

Si.

[Rob McCow]

Disgusting, but short of locking everyone into their seats I don't see what the airline staff could have done to prevent this.

[Antony Cox]

The woman began to cry and tried to get the attention of a flight attendant, but was unsuccessful

Perhaps she pressed the call button and the steward shouted from the galley "I'm coming, Madam!"?

[Larry]

Romania caught short in loo row

Ceausescu's palace - miles of corridors, but short on toilets

Preparations for next month's Nato summit in Romania are being overshadowed by a row - over toilets.
Parliamentary official Mihai Unghianu says Nato has complained that there are not enough lavatories at the venue.
Nato is said to have asked the government to install 1,000 temporary toilets - one for every five delegates, each costing $9,500 (£4,700) a week.
Nato has not publicly commented on the issue. Key talks on its Afghanistan mission are expected at the summit.
It will take place at the vast parliamentary palace in Bucharest, built for the late dictator Nicolae Ceausescu, but now the site for both houses of parliament.
The palace is among the largest buildings in the world, and although it has more than 1,000 halls and rooms, and 4,500 chandeliers, it appears to be short on some of the bare essentials.
The dispute emerged after minutes from a parliamentary committee meeting were leaked.



'Architectural jewel'
According to these, in the meeting Mr Unghianu reported that after Nato officials had asked him for the plans of the building, they said they were displeased with both the number and quality of the toilet facilities.
Nato suggested the installation of temporary toilets, but Bucharest objected that they did not have the money to fit them, and that they might upset the aesthetic appeal of what some consider to be an architectural jewel of a building. The palace's architect, Anca Petrescu, has called the request for extra temporary facilities humiliating. She told Romania's Adevarul newspaper that all the toilets would be working during the summit, and suggested that someone with portable toilets for hire was trying to make money at the taxpayers' expense.

...........

[chalkie]

Lucas Sues Over Stormtrooper Suits
Case hits High Court today.
by Chris Tilly, IGN UK
UK, April 8, 2008 - It may have kicked off a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, but one Star Wars battle is far from over as Lucasfilm visits London's High Court today.

The film company is suing prop designer Andrew Ainsworth for £10m, claiming that the Twickenham-based artist has been infringing on Star Wars copyright by reproducing and selling costumes from the film.

Ainsworth designed the Stormtrooper outfits for the original Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope in 1976 and, according to The Telegraph, received £30,000 for his work. He then found one of the original helmet casts in a cupboard at his home in 2004 and started selling replica helmets and suits to fans for as much as £1,500 apiece.

Lucasfilm sued Ainsworth for copyright infringement in 2006 and a Californian judge awarded the company £10m in damages, but as Ainsworth is a British resident, the ruling must now pass through the Chancery Division of the High Court.



- KMazur/WireImage.comThe Imperial Stormtrooper is one of Star Wars' iconic characters.
In response, Ainsworth is countersuing the film giant, claiming that the copyright has expired and even if it does still exist, the rights are his as designer, thereby entitling him to a cut of the film's lucrative merchandising haul.

A spokesman for Lucas Licensing said, "We would never want to discourage fans from showcasing their enthusiasm for the movies. However, anyone who tries to profit from using our copyrights and trademarks without authorisation becomes an infringer and we will go after them."

The trial is expected to last for 10 days.

litigate, litigate,

[Milky Tears]

A couple of new winky gems:

http://www.reuters.com/article/oddly...Name=oddlyEnou

Penis theft panic hits city..
Wed Apr 23, 2008 1:06pm
By Joe Bavier

KINSHASA (Reuters) - Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.

Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, where belief in traditional religions and witchcraft remains widespread, and where ritual killings to obtain blood or body parts still occur.

Rumors of penis theft began circulating last week in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo's sprawling capital of some 8 million inhabitants. They quickly dominated radio call-in shows, with listeners advised to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings.

Purported victims, 14 of whom were also detained by police, claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure.

"You just have to be accused of that, and people come after you. We've had a number of attempted lynchings. ... You see them covered in marks after being beaten," Kinshasa's police chief, Jean-Dieudonne Oleko, told Reuters on Tuesday.

Police arrested the accused sorcerers and their victims in an effort to avoid the sort of bloodshed seen in Ghana a decade ago, when 12 suspected penis snatchers were beaten to death by angry mobs. The 27 men have since been released.

"I'm tempted to say it's one huge joke," Oleko said.

"But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it's become tiny or that they've become impotent. To that I tell them, 'How do you know if you haven't gone home and tried it'," he said.

Some Kinshasa residents accuse a separatist sect from nearby Bas-Congo province of being behind the witchcraft in revenge for a recent government crackdown on its members.

"It's real. Just yesterday here, there was a man who was a victim. We saw. What was left was tiny," said 29-year-old Alain Kalala, who sells phone credits near a Kinshasa police station.

(Editing by Nick Tattersall and Mary Gabriel)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/...st/7366914.stm

Stripper's weapon 'not offensive'

A police stripogram's truncheon was not an offensive weapon, judges have ruled.

Stuart Kennedy - known as Sgt Eros - was charged and put on trial after his act drew the attention of Grampian Police in Aberdeen.

Charges of having an offensive weapon in a public place without a reasonable excuse were thrown out by a sheriff.

The Crown appealed, but judges at the Justiciary Appeal Court in Edinburgh have backed the sheriff. Mr Kennedy said it was "excellent".

The news was broken to him by the BBC Scotland news website, and Mr Kennedy said: "It was a silly prosecution in the first place.

"The points the prosecution were making were silly. It's a work uniform.

"I am glad that's the end of this case, it was wasting court time let alone appeal time, the money could be spent in better ways."

He added: "I still cannot believe it ever got to this stage."

Mr Kennedy was questioned and later charged by Grampian Police after performing at a bar in Aberdeen last year.

A charge of impersonating a police officer was later dropped by prosecutors.

Important principle

Mr Kennedy went on trial at Aberdeen Sheriff Court accused of carrying two batons and a spray without lawful authority.

However, Sheriff Kenneth Stewart said: "There is no evidence at all which even hints at the suggestion that he had any intention of causing harm or injury to other persons."

The Crown Office then announced an appeal against the ruling that Mr Kennedy's stripogram work did amount to a reasonable excuse.

Advocate depute Brian McConnachie QC, for the Crown, had argued that if the Sheriff Stewart's ruling went unchallenged it could create a legal loophole for carrying weapons.

He acknowledged the decision to prosecute Mr Kennedy had attracted a great deal of publicity which was "fairly negative" as far as the Crown was concerned.

However, he insisted there was an important principle at stake. Criminals should not be allowed to flout the law on offensive weapons by claiming they were on the way to a fancy dress party, he said.

Crown fails

"We could have ninjas carrying nunchaku sticks or going as a ned carrying a flick knife," he said.

Neither Kennedy nor his lawyers were at a hearing last week and immediately protested that they had not been told it was going ahead and had not had a chance to put their arguments.

They were expecting a new date to be set, but judge Lord Johnston said on Friday there was no need because Kennedy had won.

Lord Johnston said he, together with Lord Reed and temporary judge Gordon Nicholson QC had already made up their minds.

"The opinion of the court is ready but has not been issued," said Lord Johnston. "But we are prepared to announce the Crown appeal will fail and reasons will be given in due course so no harm has been done."

A Crown Office spokesperson: said: "The decision to take forward an appeal was certainly not a waste of time, nor was the prosecution.

"The law seeks to stop people carrying weapons that are made and designed to cause injury, simply because such weapons could be used to cause harm. Police batons are such weapons.

"The appellant in this case was carrying such a weapon, and the Crown was of the view that the law required to be clarified as to whether on the facts of this case it could be deemed appropriate for him to do so. It is for this reason the Crown appealed the previous ruling."

The spokesperson added: "We note the ruling of the Appeal Court today. It is not possible for the Crown - or other commentators - to comment with authority on today's ruling before we have sight of the court's full written judgement."

Sgt Eros!

I can't decide which one is funniest!

[Si Hunt]

Not unusual, unfortunately:

The 29-year-old beat country singer Carrie Underwood and actress Vanessa Hudgens to grace the cover of People's '100 Most Beautiful' issue.

Miley Cyrus, Christina Applegate, Isla Fisher and the cast of Gossip Girl also appeared on the annual list, along with Rumer Willis and comedienne Sarah Silverman.

The magazine's senior editor Galina Espinoza told The Early Show: "[Kate] just embodies such an incredible natural beauty that is in vogue right now.

"We've got so accustomed to celebrities getting breast implants and nose jobs, and she will talk about being flat-chested and having a little bit of an offbeat look."

Hudson said she was not always as concerned about her looks, saying: "I was a tomboy [as a child]. I had three brothers. I was the girl with the dress on that always came back in the house filthy with scrapes and bruises.

"But I was always very girly. I had to be able to twirl so that my underwear showed."

When I saw the headline, for a moment I thought it might actually mean beautiful PERSON. But no, it's yet another focus on looks and external appearance.

Who said it was on the inside that counts?

Si.

[Antony Cox]

Who said it's what's on the inside that counts?

Si.

Mr Barraclough from Porridge, talking about a calculator in his office?