The Unusual News Thread

[Jeff]

Who said it's what's on the inside that counts?

Parents to their ugly children, in consolation?

[Si Hunt]

Kanye West has lashed out at a US music critic who failed to award top marks to his live show.

US magazine Entertainment Weekly graded West's 'Glow In The Dark' tour a B+, prompting the rapper to launch a foul-mouthed tirade on his blog.

West wrote: "What's a B+ mean? I'm an extremist. It's either pass or fail! A+ or F-! You know what, f**k you and the whole f**king staff!!!

"You're f**king trash! I make art. You can't rate this. I'm a real person. I'm not a pop star. I don't care about anything but making great art."

West ended his rant by warning the critic never to attend one of his live performances again, writing: "Never come 2 one of my shows ever again, you're not invited and if you see me... BOW!!"

Good to see success hasn't gone to his head.

Si.

[Rob McCow]

Awww Diddums!

"Never come 2 one of my shows ever again, you're not invited and if you see me... BOW!!"

And you're not on my birthday list and I'm crossing you off my Christmas list too! And I'm taking back my special friendship bangle. So ner!

[Si Hunt]

A gay rights campaigner has rejected a Northern Ireland assembly member's call for homosexuals to seek psychiatric counselling.

David McCartney from the Rainbow Project was responding to comments from Iris Robinson, who is the chair of the Stormont health committee.

Mrs Robinson said with help, gay people could be "turned around".

Mr McCartney said there was "no body of evidence" to support this and asked to meet the MP.

I'm up for trying. Get me four lapdancers with massive tits and I'm sure in no time I'll be drinking beer, watching football and coming out in cold shakes every time I hear "Y.M.C.A".

Si.

[Dirk Gently]

@Si.


Actually if the cure is as you suggest then I think I'm gay & need some of that 'treatment'.

[Si Hunt]

Campaigners have called for better labels on takeaway food after revealing massive levels of fat, salt and sugar in some of the UK's favourite dishes.

TAKEAWAYS ARE BAD FOR YOU SHOCK HORROR! What next, "RAIN IS WET! ANNOUNCES WATCHDOG"?

Let's face it, we all know takeaways are bad for you, that's why they're so good as an occasional treat!

Si.

[Pip Madeley]

It's not funny but...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/m...er/7478485.stm

A hospital doctor has saved the life of a pub singer who had a heart attack while belting out his favourite tune - "Gotta Lotta Livin' To Do".

Roy Crawford, 70, a regular performer at the Jolly Carter in Little Lever, Bolton, became ill during the second verse of the Elvis Presley song. He collapsed into the audience, at the feet of consultant physician Kevin Jones, who started heart massage.

Mr Crawford said: "He saved my life. No doubt about it."

A former professional singer, the pensioner suffered a massive heart attack and was technically dead when he collapsed on stage at the pub's jazz night. Dr Jones, from the Royal Bolton Hospital, gave him heart massage and mouth-to-mouth resuscitation until paramedics arrived.

[Stuart Wallis]

A woman trying to make "manure bombs" using stockings, slipped into a slurry tank and fled the scene naked, German police said Friday.

Two women entered a farm in the northern village of Eberholzen Wednesday evening and started to fill the stockings with manure.

"One of them slipped into the manure tank, right into the cow muck," said a spokesman for local police. "The other one helped her out. We found their clothes in a field. One seems to have run off completely naked, the other in her underwear."

Police said it was unclear what the women had intended to do with the "manure bombs," but added the incident could be linked to victory celebrations surrounding the Euro 2008 semi-finals on Wednesday evening, when Germany beat Turkey 3-2.

"The women can get their clothes back from the local police station -- unwashed," the spokesman added.

Right in it!

[Dirk Gently]

I've heard of putting your foot in it, but right up to the neck...?

[SiHart]

A student who scribbled an expletive on an English language exam paper was awarded 7.5 percent for accurate spelling and effective communication, The Times newspaper reported on Monday.

(Advertisement)
The pupil, who wrote "f--- off" after being asked in an English exam to "describe the room you are sitting in", got 2 marks out of 27 and would have got more if he had added some punctuation, chief examiner Peter Buckroyd told The Times.

"It does show some very basic skills we are looking for -- like conveying some meaning and some spelling," said Buckroyd, who works for the Assessment and Qualifications Alliance examinations board. "It shows some nominal skills but no relevance to the task".

"If it had had an exclamation mark it would have got a little bit more because it would have been showing a little bit of skill".

According to The Times, to gain minimum marks in English GSCE papers -- an exam taken by hundreds of thousands of 16-year-olds across England every year -- pupils must demonstrate "some simple sequencing of ideas" and an ability to put "some words in appropriate order".

!

Si xx

[Dirk Gently]

So according to that examiner, everyone who posts on here in a co-ordinated & legible way would pass an English GCSE without trying.

[Si Hunt]

I don't think he mentioned passing it.

Si.

[Dirk Gently]

2 marks for F*** OFF. How many for a coherent sentence?

[Stuart Wallis]

Now that's where PS would fail miserably!

[Kaybee Bailey]

News of the first cricket match ever to take place on a cross channel ferry:



Full Story: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/7484386.stm

[Captain Tancredi]

"You went for the boundary, you can fetch the ball..."

[SiHart]

Here's some really batty news:

A teenager who thought movement in her underwear was caused by her vibrating mobile phone found a bat curled up asleep in her bra.

Abbie Hawkins, 19, of Norwich, had been wearing the bra for five hours when she plucked up the courage to investigate.
When she did, she found a baby bat in padding in her 34FF bra. The hotel receptionist said she was shocked but felt bad for removing the "cuddly" bat.
"It looked cosy and comfortable and I was sorry for disturbing it," she said.

She was sitting at her desk at work when she decided to investigate the strange movements in her underwear.

"I put my hand down my bra and pulled out a cuddly little bat. Perhaps I should have left it there and given it a good home
"That shocked me very much at the time, but it scuttled off under the desk into the dark. I was shaking from head to toe.
"It looked quite cosy and comfortable in there so it was quite rude of me to take it out.
"When I realised it was a bat the first thing that occurred to me was how did it get in there.
"I felt quite sorry for it. Perhaps I should have left it there and given it a good home.
"I did not notice anything as I put my bra on. The night before I had had one or two drinks and I was getting ready quickly.
"The bra was in my drawer but it had been on the washing line the day before.
"When I was driving to work, I felt a slight vibration but I thought it was just my mobile phone in my jacket pocket."

The bat was captured by one of her colleagues and released.

Si xx

[Kaybee Bailey]

I was just coming in here to see if anyone had posted that story Si. Just bizarre...

[Dirk Gently]

I've heard of Bats in the belfry but bats in the brazier! That's bizarre!

[Si Hunt]

George Michael's releasing a Christmas single... on Christmas Day. Sounds fine, until you think about it. Nobody shops on Christmas Day itself, and nobody is going to buy a Christmas record after Christmas... he's not thought it through.

Si.

[Paul Monk]

You could download it though.....ah! Maybe not so daft!

[Si Hunt]

MMmm. Still not sure that many people will want to be downloading music on Christmas morning. Why doesn't he release it two weeks before Christmas before people are sick of Christmas songs?

Si.

[Paul Monk]

I just said its not so daft. He's just been reduced by a couple of points on the daftness scale.

[Rob McCow]

I hope it's a re-release of 'Faith' only with the word 'Faith' replaced by the word 'Christmas'.

'Cos you gotta have ... Christmas-ah-Christmas-ah-Christmas!'

[Pip Madeley]

MMmm. Still not sure that many people will want to be downloading music on Christmas morning.

He'll be too busy to care, stoned out of his head on Hampsted Heath.