Dialogue which makes you ashamed to be a fan ...

[WhiteCrow]

What are those lines in Doctor Who which just make you want to cower behind the sofa?

Some of my personal un-faves,



"Wicked Professor", Ace



"Braveheart Tegan"

And at number one ...



"Carrot juice!!!"

[Si Hunt]

Nothing makes me ashamed to be a fan!

But can I twist it to be - "lines so bad they make me PROUD to be a fan"?

We have.....


"Someone's been jigging around with this map."

"Whatever force has hijacked the TARDIS has also taken control of your pen."

"She was found in the barn, paralysed with fear. She may have seen something."

"He's dangling on the edge of oblivion!"

"I foresee oodles of trouble!"

"That's solved that little bit of solution."

"If we use the Doppler Effect and eliminate the Red Shift, the invasion must succeed."

"Look at that fantastic building!"

"What, all 500 of us?"

"What did you expect, some sort of space rocket with Batman at the controls?"

"White kids firebombed it."

Si.

[Pip Madeley]

So bad it's bad: "Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom!"

So bad it's good: "On the previous occasion that the Doctor's path crossed mine, I found myself involved in a web of mayhem and intrigue."

[Simon R]

"Who you gonna call? Ghostbusters!"

"I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry".

[Pip Madeley]

"End of the universe and you're busy... blogging!"

[Simon R]

"Our mission is to conqeur space"

"Code word: Electron"

[Pip Madeley]

"His name is Dorf, and you are scum!"

[Simon R]

"Clever, clever, only stupid Earth brains like yours would have been fooled"

[Pip Madeley]

"Do you feel like arguing with a can of deodorant that registers 9 on the Richter Scale?"

[Dirk Gently]

Rose: "If you're an alien, how come you sound like you're from the north?"
The Doctor: "Lots of planets have a north"

[Wayne]

That 'wibbly wobbly timey wimey' shite.

[Jason Thompson]

Anything from Bonnie Langford in Trial part 13.

Anything from Jenny Laird in Planet Of The Spiders.

[SiHart]

That 'wibbly wobbly timey wimey' shite.

Yeah I agree Wayne. It's a dreadful line.
But I do like the "Lots of planets have a north" one Tim.

Si xx

[Si Hunt]

"One minute you're talking about killing the Doctor, then you're proposing to me!"

Si.

[Ian Lethbridge-Stewart]

I'm half human, on my mother's side (or whatever that rubbish is)!!!

[Andrew Curnow]

Like Si, I'm a big fan of the North line (and being an anorak, it also reminds me of the 'from the North' gag from Ribos).

However, on the subject of awful dialogue, how come nobody's mentioned...

"And may my bones rot for obeying it." I know I stick up for The Twin Dilemma, but some of the dialogue, particularly in the early episodes, is appalling.

[Dirk Gently]

I've been trying to forget everything about Twin Diarrhoea.

[Zbigniev Hamson]

"And may my bones rot for obeying it." I know I stick up for The Twin Dilemma, but some of the dialogue, particularly in the early episodes, is appalling.

Solon is constantly saying stuff like that in The Brain of Morbius.

[Jon Masters]

"How utterly evil "
"Come, you painted drabs - my master must feed " (and for shame its from Talons )
"Ace !!"
"I love you Doctor "

[Kaybee Bailey]

"Do you feel like arguing with a can of deodorant that registers 9 on the Richter Scale?"

That's a great line! And I also like the one about lots of planets having a north.

"Booooooooooooooooom!" is terrible, as is "Hahaboohaom?" which follows it, but for some reason I've always felt that the scene was poorly directed rather than the actresses getting it totally wrong, because the way it's shot and the screen cuts always make me feel that there was someone saying 'right Sophie, can you just hold the 'oo' a bit longer, and make a kind of exploding hand gesture', thus making Ling Tai wet herself laughing while saying the next lines. But maybe I have too much faith.

"How utterley evil" and "A megabyte modem" are inexcusable though.

[Pip Madeley]

We could've done with you during the Battlefield commentary, Kaybee.

[SiHart]

"You yellow slant eyed b..." is possibly the worst EVER line in Doctor Who. Certainly one they should have known better than to let through to the final cut of any Doctor Who story.

Si xx

[Si Hunt]

I agree. Not only is it offensive and needless, it's also archaic. Even extreme racists today probably wouldn't use "yellow" as an insult in our multi-racial society - it's a slur from about 1914.

Si.

[Larry]

"Leave the girl, it's the man I want"


"unlimited rice pudding"

[Wayne]

"unlimited rice pudding"

What's wrong with that? It's Irony!.